Shrink
by AMessofADreamerx
Summary: "Ellie Jo & Daryl, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Eleanor Stone's older sister had loved teasing her & Daryl Dixon, the boy down the street. It was inevitable, but had to be a secret. For 3 years, the Stone girls & the Dixon boys had each other's back, till one morning the latter was gone. 12 years & an apocalypse later, they're reunited, but they're 2 people short...
1. PROLOGUE - FOR HIM

**PROLOGUE – FOR HIM**

Doctor Eleanor Stone was ready to die. She was the last Stone. She had killed her undead mother, father, and only ten months ago, her still breathing sister, Abbie Jo. One who used to tell people to never give up, was ready for this life to be over.

It'd been five days since Ellie put anything in her mouth. She had been exiled from her last group, for killing a beloved member who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself. Only an older lady took pity on her, shoving an armful of cans and water bottles at her before she left. For about a half an hour straight, she ran with them in her arms. Nearly three miles away from camp, she dared to stop and catch her breath. Ellie had counted three cans and two water bottles before shoving them in her backpack. _Psh_ , she thought, _that'll last me long enough…_

But eight long days later, she's been to three different towns, and all of them had been ransacked. It was in the third city when her body decided it would just shut down. Deciding to stop focusing on her dry throat, it decided to make her know that every vein and vessel was deprived of water with a terrible ache. Her brain revolted by not allowing her to walk straight, because it wanted her to know she needed water by making the ground spin. At one point, she could hear the growls and snarls of walkers, but Ellie couldn't open her tired eyes to look at them. She felt like a walker herself, aimlessly walking and stumbling, no idea where she was headed.

Till she got there. Literally ran straight dab into it. A trailer. Not a tractor trailer, or even a detached one, but more closer to a camper. But it was tall enough to keep her from grabby dead hands and out of view to anyone who wanted to harm her… though she didn't know why it mattered. This was going to be her death bed, she knew it. She was going to be one of them, whether she liked it or not.

Something in her got her to pull herself to the top though. Something in her got her to safety. Ellie wasn't sure what or the point of it, but where her feet went, she followed.

She still kept a calender. Well, she did. It was in her backpack, but she hadn't crossed it off in three days. She marked in it for the future, but it was around then she realized she didn't have much of a future left.

So, Ellie didn't know if she laid on top of the trailer for just a few hours or if it was days. She just knew she couldn't move. She just knew she didn't even want to anymore. Her mind had given up and she was just waiting for her body to make the realization.

"This was a bust," a voice echoed in the distance.

"We had to try," came another.

"It was worth a shot." Not even comprehending the voices, she didn't even think about how her heart pounded more at the third voice.

 _No, it wasn't_ , it was her body screaming this, not Ellie. She didn't know much of anything anymore.

But the more they spoke, the more the voices sent a spark through out her body. She tried to force herself to breath. She tried to move, but all she had managed was to flop an arm down. The noise it caused wasn't loud, but a noise nonetheless. She heard a growl and then felt something pulling at her arm. However the movement had spent all her energy.

"Hey, look." It was the first voice who said this. It was a younger voice than the rest. It didn't have as deep as vibrato.

A creak and a whoosh. Ellie's arm was free, but she still couldn't move it.

"Are you all right?" The Second Voice called. This one had a strong southern drawl. "ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?"

"Shit." Third Voice suddenly muttered. More creaking and whooshing, and then Second Voice echoed his 'shit'.

Something hit the trailer, causing it to shake. The stimulation allowed her to open her eyes and she turned her head. Black straight, curly blonde, and then an oilly brown… that caused her heart to jump into her throat, but her brain didn't know why. Only her heart did.

With more strength than Ellie knew she had, she flopped to her stomach, and peered over at the three men before her. She saw a gray long sleeve shirt, a dark flannel, and then a vest with angel wings. She knew that vest. Her heart jumped to her brain like a jumpstart. Daryl. It was Daryl Dixon. Daryl and two men, and about twenty walkers.

Ellie was about to die. She wanted to die. She was going to turn into one of them. She knew what she had to do, for him. For him and his, dare she think, friends.

She pulled herself to her knees and gripped the side of the trailer, and pulled herself to the back of it. She repositioned herself on her bottom and then… she jumped.

Her feet hit the pavement first, but didn't have enough strength to support her, so she crumbled to the ground.

"I'm here you bastards!" Ellie cried out, weakly, "Come get me, you sons of bitches!"

Her plan must of worked, because Second Voice yelled, "We gotta go! It's clear!"

But instead of leaving, she heard Daryl say, "Damnit" and then "cover me!"

 _No, Daryl_ , she tried to yell. _Nononono_. But nothing came out.

And soon there was nothing at all.


	2. CHAPTER ONE - NEVER FORGET

AN: hey y'all! Definitely new to this section… definitely knew to this fandom! I started watching TWD about two weeks ago and I'm now on season 5. I'm not sure that's what the writers had in mind when they began this show, binge-watching it like this is not for the faint of heart haha anyways, this is unashamedly a Daryl/OC love story. This chapter begins in season five, somewhere in episode ten "Them", and if you pass off the mysterious dude (Idk know who he is yet lol) coming to Sasha and Maggie, asking to speak to Rick, just a couple days, and maybe in a different location. Idk yet. We'll see. Okay, so yeah. That's it! I hope you like it! I'd love it if you let me know ^_^

 **CHAPTER ONE – NEVER FORGET**

 _Shit_. _Shitshitshitshitshit_. That was the thought process Daryl had before yelling, "Cover me!"

Rick cocked his head and gave him a look, a look that clearly conveyed his thoughts, _are you stupid?_

Daryl answered that question by running towards the mob of walkers closing in on Ellie Jo. _Yeah, yeah I am_.

It's been over twelve years since he saw Ellie. He didn't owe her nothing. Then why was he on a suicide mission to save her skin and bones body?

He heard popping come from over his shoulder and the ones nearly to Ellie fell to the ground. Glenn and Rick went along with his stupidity and Daryl trusted them not to shoot him in the head too. He took a knife from his belt and began stabbing the ones closest to him.

"Ellie Jo!" He called, knowing he wasn't going to make it in time. "Move, damnit!" But her crumpled body didn't. She was unconscious.

There was only feet, there was only seconds till they were going to be upon her. Rick and Glenn would run out of bullets and Daryl wouldn't get there fast enough.

He had never dared to think about her since this all started. Hadn't even dared to think about her since he left her bed and left her life twelve years ago. Daryl failed many times in the beginning, but had gotten pretty good at it in recent years. If he thought of her now, it was when he was alone at night. He always told himself it didn't count. Daryl wasn't sure how it didn't count, it just didn't.

And then there was a blaring car horn in the distance. Over and over someone pounded the steering wheel and more and more the walkers coming in hot on Ellie turned their heads and changed course. A few more pops from behind and she was clear.

She was untouched.

"Ellie? Ellie?" Daryl was by her now, on his knees, shaking her gently. He could see her pulse pounding in her neck, her heart rate racing. He quickly checked her pale skin for any bites. As far as he could see, she was covered in blood, but not her own.

"We have to go!" Rick said from behind, clenched jaw with worry.

Daryl nodded once and then pulled her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She felt no more than a rag doll.

The two of them ran and Daryl held Ellie as tight as he could, trying to prevent her head bobbing against his back. They rounded a block and Glenn came running from the other side.

"Not this way!" He yelled, coming towards them. There was nothing following, nothing they could see… yet. But both Rick and Daryl knew better than not to run back the way they came.

"This way!" Rick called, knife in one hand and gun in the other, running down a different street. Daryl could hear Glenn gasping for breath not too far behind him. And the groans of the herd of walkers coming closer.

He was heaving too. Despite being skin and bones, Ellie was like running with a literal sack of potatoes.

 _Pop, pop, pop_ came from ahead from Rick and _pow, pow, pow_ came from behind from Glenn.

"There!" Rick cried, pointing to the hole in the chain fence. Daryl's lungs burned, wishing he never picked up smoking again, but he set his eyes on the car he could see through the fence. Almost there.

They were going to to make it. They _were_ going to make it.

Rick rounded the car from the back, opening the backseat for Daryl. He dove in head first, dropped Ellie beside him, and hurried to shut the door.

Glenn wasn't too far behind, but so were the walkers. Daryl held his breath as he tripped through the hole in the fence. Thankfully, as it had tripped Glenn, it tripped the walkers coming after him. He hadn't even shut the door before Rick pounded his foot on the gas.

"What the _hell_ was that, Daryl?" Glenn demanded, as soon as he shut the door. There was still a wheezing rasp in his voice. Daryl took his time repositioning Ellie into a more comfortable position. Her head on his lap and the rest of the body on the length of the backseat.

"Ellie-girl..." Daryl murmured to her limp body.

"Yeah, I need an explanation here," Rick put in, catching Daryl's eyes in the rearview mirror.

He let out the air he had been holding and bit his bottom lip. "This is Ellie Jo," he finally said, mulling over how much, or how little, he was going to say. He gave, and took, too much with her.

* * *

"Or Ellie. Yeah, Ellie, I guess. Short for Eleanor. Stone. Ellie Stone."

"And?" Rick prompted from up front, but Daryl's eyes were on Ellie's blonde hair, clotted with blood and dirt.

"Her and her sister lived down the road from us growing up," Daryl began. He didn't explain the 'us'. They knew he meant Merle. "Abbie was more friends with Merle, she was older, but Ellie… was mine."

"That was painful," Ellie suddenly rasped. "You carrying me to this car like a rag doll, _and_ you trying to explain who I am." Daryl's eyes had widened, but he stayed silent. Internally, he was panicking.

Ellie knew that.

Very slowly, she shifted to her back, and licked her cracked lips. Then she opened her clear eyes and looked up at him, but she didn't say anything either. Daryl could see in her eyes she was overcome too.

Her hand reached up and touched his face. Ellie couldn't help but breath heavily, the exertion a little too much, but Daryl couldn't tell her to stop. It only lasted a few seconds before her arm flopped back down, but they were a few seconds he would play over and over again.

Her eyes still burned and her throat felt like a desert. She didn't know how long she could keep them open.

"I, um, I got some water," Daryl finally said, shaking the backpack off his shoulders. He put it to the side and rummaged around for the bottle. He pulled it out and placed it next to him. Gently, he brought Ellie up to a sitting position.

He untwisted the top and helped her take a sip, but as soon as the plastic touched her lips, she lost it. Her hands went up and shoved the water back into her face, taking a few chugs, wincing as it fell down her cracked throat.

Ellie realized her mistake right away. The second the water hit her stomach, it revolted. She leaned to the side, and violently heaved back out all the water she consumed, and some bile along with it. Right on Daryl's boots.

He snatched the bottle away from her, an annoyed sigh escaped him, but as soon as it did, he clamped his mouth shut. He breathed deeply out of his nose for a couple seconds.

"Oh." Ellie's voice was nothing but a croak. However the effort really strained her, she could feel herself slipping away again.

Rick snorted from up front. "' _Oh_ ,'" he mimicked from up front. Glenn snickered too.

"Glad this amuses you," Daryl grumbled, trying to wipe his boots against the back of the seat.

"Payback for almost killing us back there," Glenn replied with a shrug.

It was then Daryl realized Ellie's head had lolled against her chest. She was out again. He carefully placed her head back on his lap and then stared out the window, deep in thought.

* * *

Ellie woke up by herself. She jerked up, remembering the daze of seeing Daryl, almost dying, and then throwing up on his boots in the backseat of a car. She thought she woke up a few times and touched her throat. She thought she remembered someone sitting her up again and making her take one sip of water. She thought she remembered a couple of instances of that.

But then she looked around. She was alone in a barn. Maybe she had dreamt all of that? Ellie saw the humor in that, the doctor doubting her own reality. However she looked down and saw a bottle of water laying next to her.

This time, she only took one sip from it, and she got up. Dusting off her back, she realized she was in a barn, and the doors were open.

All Ellie could see in the square opening was light though, and it was painful to her eyes. Nearly outside was when she thought she should probably arm herself and she pulled the spear she had in her back pocket out.

It was useless. She was so blinded that all she could do was stand there for a moment. Ellie blinked furiously and after a couple seconds, her eyes adjusted.

To the left, a black women with dreadlocks was squinting at her. "Hello," she called.

"Ellie!" The shout of her name made her look forward. Daryl was coming to her, with the guy with the curly hair not too far behind.

Her mind didn't catch up to her feet till Ellie was throwing her arms around Daryl's waist. She buried her head into his chest and breathed deeply. Under all the layers of sweat, she could smell him. Her Daryl. He smelled of dirt and pine.

Hugs in the day light weren't really their things back then- Daryl had a reputation to protect, but his arms wrapped around her shoulders as well, even if he stood rod stiff.

"I… never.. I just never thought I'd see you again. After the Turn… and before..." Ellie whispered to him, muffled by his shirt.

Daryl was the first to pull away, but his eyes didn't leave hers.

"Hey, I'm Rick," The curly hair man said, before adding, "Miss Stone, I just want to ask-"

"Doctor. Doctor Stone," Ellie corrected automatically. She broke eye contact with Daryl and met with Rick's. Daryl stepped out of the way and Rick took his spot.

"Doctor of what?" Rick wondered. She used to think she worked dang hard for the title, ain't gonna let it go to waste. But things were starting to change…

"Psychology."

"You're a therapist?" He asked, sounding a little impressed.

But at the same time, Daryl exclaimed, "You're a shrink!?"

"Okay. Doctor Stone, I just have three questions for you," Rick began, but Ellie looked away with a deep breath, shaking her head.

"You're not going to answer my questions?"

"Ellie…?" Daryl said softly, but for some reason it ended in a question.

She took a deep breath. "I'll answer the questions perfectly fine. But I don't know if I'm a doctor anymore. If what I've done… if I still deserve the title," Ellie answered, swallowing, hand downcast to her ratty old Converses. "So, I guess you can just call me Eleanor, or Ellie."

However he didn't seem to care anymore whether she had been a doctor in her previous life or not.

"How many people have you killed?" Rick leaned forward, demanding her blue eyes. She gave them to him.

"T-two… if you don't count _them_ ," Ellie whispered, closing her eyes.

"Why?"

She didn't need to open her eyes to know Rick was inches from her face. Ellie felt his breath.

"My sister..." she took gasping breath, "Abbie Jo begged me. She begged me. Begged me not to let her become one of them." Ellie still didn't dare open her eyes. Truly, she didn't care about the man inches from her. It was the one who she'd known for over a decade. She didn't want to see if it changed the way Daryl looked at her.

"And the other one?"

Ellie could open her eyes with this one and the only thing she could see was the towering body of Rick. "He attacked me."

He held her eyes for a few long moments, before nodding once, and turning away. Ellie dared to look past him, to Daryl. He wasn't focused on her then, but his eyes were locked on Rick's. Daryl gave a slight nod.

Rick gave her some space before he faced her again. "We don't have a lot here. Just us, that's it. We're heading to DC. If that interests you, then great. You're one of us. But if you do anything to hurt any of us, I will kill you. And that's something I have done, killed one of us." He looked at her with such intensity, Ellie swallowed. How was Daryl part of this group? Did she really want to be with them, even if he was with them?

"Rick, you're scaring her," Daryl grumbled from behind him. Both Rick and Ellie looked back at him, she fought to breath normally. "El, don't cross him. Bottom line. You'll be fine."

And then Rick chuckled slightly, taking a few steps back, allowing Daryl to be apart of this conversation now. "What he said. I'm happy you're here, truly I am." He smiled then, the murder threaten-er gone from his face. He stuck out his hand. Looking at Daryl, Ellie took it. "I'm Rick. Over there are my two kids, Carl and Judith-"

"That's a baby!" Ellie exclaimed before she could stop herself. With just one glance, she wanted to scoop Judith up and never let go.

"Yup, that's my baby," Rick said, with a loud laugh. The rest of the group took that as cue that it was safe and came over.

Ellie was overwhelmed for a second, with the amount of handshakes and names. Carol, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Sasha, Abraham… she couldn't keep up.

There was silence, and she was sure she was expected to say something. "Well, um, I'm Ellie. I don't remember any of your names yet, but I suppose I will," a few chuckles. _Good_ , she thought nervously, "I knew the Dixons' back in the day-" Ellie paused, looking around. Before muttering out of the corner of her mouth to Daryl, "Merle?" She was scared to look at him. Scared, even though Merle had been a dick, it was still someone that was cared for. That she and Abbie Jo had at one time cared for. There was silence, so Ellie felt like she had to look over. They caught eyes before Daryl looked down, with a brief shake of the head.

"And Daryl knew the Stones'- Abbie Jo, Mama, and Daddy, but now it's just me, too," Ellie finished with a shrug, hoping that was enough.

"Well, this isn't an A.A. meeting, or a W.A. meeting… but welcome," a women with short brown hair said, a strong twang in her accent. Maggie, Ellie believed her name. Her eyes were red and swollen. There were dark bags under eyes and her nose was puffy. She'd been crying and her voice cracked saying those words to Ellie. "I just lost my sister too," Maggie sniffled. Glenn- introduced as her husband- put his arm around her waist in comfort.

Another women with a slicked back pony tail stepped forward. Her dark skin was pale, but Ellie didn't think she had cried recently. "And my brother. Just days apart." This one was Sasha, Ellie thought.

"I'm sorry," Ellie replied. It was her turn for her voice to break. "It's been about a year, but you never forget. You never stop hurting, it just becomes a part of you, and it just becomes your new normal." She didn't know whether it comforted them or not, but she wished someone had told her the truth when she lost Abbie.

Rick cut in then, knowing there wasn't really anything else left to say. "Y'all, the sun's almost finished setting. Let's head back in and rest. I'll-"

"I got first watch!" Sasha cut him off, hiking her rifle over her shoulder, and walking back into the barn.

"I'll take the third shift," Daryl said. Sasha looked back at him with a nod. Ellie tried to catch Daryl's eyes- she needed to speak with him- but he wouldn't meet hers. She returned to watching Sasha and saw her lean against the wall. She slid down, crossing her legs on the floor.

* * *

Ellie located her backpack in a corner and took it to a small clearing next to the barn wall. She pulled out a blanket and covered her body with it, before laying on her side with her arm as a pillow. One by one, all the lights except for Sasha's by the door turned off, and the room was filled with soft breathing.

Her breath wasn't one of them. She had her eyes shut, hoping sleep would takeover so she didn't have to force them, but they had a mind of her own. Tired of fighting herself, Ellie opened her eyes, and looked out into the darkness. She knew not even twenty feet from her was where Daryl laid.

Ellie hadn't forgotten. She would never forget. Waking up to an empty bed when before she fell asleep Daryl had his arms around her? Yet it it almost filled her with more pain, more loneliness to know he was sleeping by himself when she knew he hated it.

She blinked into the darkness, sighing softly. Every night for an entire year, Ellie snuck into Daryl's bedroom. Some nights, just to silently let him know he wasn't alone. Some nights, it was bringing ice packs and bandages from her house when his dad was in a mood and Merle was gone. She always left before dawn, but she was there when he needed her the most.

She knew it had been so long since their last night together, the first time he stayed over at her house, and it wasn't just to take care of him. She knew it had been over ten years, but she had the overwhelming urge to do it now just like she did it then.

And Ellie went with it. She got up, gripping her blanket tight, and made her way over to Daryl. He was as close to the middle of the room as possible. He didn't do corners or walls, and Ellie knew why. There was no escape there. His eyes popped open as she stood over him, but he didn't say a word, and neither did she. Silently, she laid down next to him, and fixed her blanket. Being careful not to touch him, not yet, Ellie rolled onto her side again, her back to him. With her arm as a pillow, she shut her eyes again, and this time Ellie didn't have trouble falling asleep.

* * *

 **RIP**

BETH GREENE

TYREESE WILLIAMS

… it's been a couple episodes since their deaths and I'm still not over it.

– Anna


	3. CHAPTER TWO - CATCHING UP

**Auther's note:** RIP so much more since the last chapter SO MUCH MORE :'''( aw dang this show. I'm nearly done with s8 though! Okay anyways, thanks so much for the response. Y'all don't know how happy this makes me. 3

 **CHAPTER TWO – CATCHING UP**

The sunlight had just begun to escape through the cracks, piercing the back of his eyeballs. His eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room by focusing on some of the cobwebs on the roof on the barn.

Then Daryl felt soft breaths on his arm and suddenly he remembered. He shifted to his side, finding himself next to a curled up Ellie. She was on her side, her face slack with sleep, close enough he felt her breath against his upper arm, and all he could do was swallow.

But instead of brushing some flyaway hairs from her face like he wanted to, he stood up to go to the front of the barn to see why he wasn't woken for the third shift.

Daryl found Carol sitting on a barrow, peering out a window. She had a shotgun resting on her back and she leaned against the barn wall.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," she smiled at him when he stepped close enough for her to whisper.

"Why didn't you wake me?" He grumbled back, glaring at her through his bangs.

Carol laughed through her nose. "Didn't have the heart. You deserve… whatever this is," she added, a little more seriously.

"It's nothing," Daryl snapped back. "She lived down the street. Merle had a thing for her sister."

Carol smiled, and Daryl wished he could do something to swipe off that look of condescension. "Mmhmm," she agreed, not believing him.

"Whatever," he mumbled, looking away, but his eyes accidentally found Ellie's sleeping form across the barn.

"Yeah, totally nothing," She commented with a smirk, but she turned to look back out the window.

"She ain't nothing to me," Daryl mumbled, but he looked down this time, his hair falling across his face. He didn't want Carol, or anyone, to see the way his cheeks burned. He was a grown ass adult, not the punk ass kid he was when the Stone sisters were a regular part of his life.

"C'mon, Daryl… it's _me_ ," Carol tried to push for more answers, but he wasn't really in a sharing mood. Secretly, yes, there was a part of him jumping for joy at the return of Ellie, but there was also a part that didn't like the memories she held.

"Ain't matter who you are, Ellie Jo ain't been nothing to me since I was a kid," Daryl answered, sharply, and Carol just sighed in response.

"Even if she's nothing to you, you're something to her," she shrugged in response.

"Damn good that'll do her," he said, quietly, with less bite. He kept his eyes down when he added, "Gonna go hunt. Might find a deer or something." Daryl shouldered his bow and walked out the barn door.

* * *

The sound of something scraping shut startled Ellie awake. The morning was just beginning to escape through the cracks of the barn, but all it did was cast eery shadows against the walls. It was then she realized she was laying alone in the middle of the room.

She sat up and looked around, wishing she could make her eyes adjust faster, but no such luck. At the front of the barn, the short-haired lady sat watch, but Ellie didn't locate Daryl.

Ellie knew it wouldn't be long before everyone else woke up. They didn't seem the type to "burn daylight" and eventually it'll pierce even their closed eyes. It was weird going from having nobody to having everybody.

She slowly stood up, stretching her sore muscles on the way up. She tiptoed around people, though she thought a few of them were laying there wide-eyed, and joined the lady at the front of the barn.

"Hi," Ellie said quietly, taking her in. She had watched Daryl interact with her a couple times and she could tell that this lady was really special to him.

"'Morning," she whispered back.

"I'm Ellie. I don't know if I really talked to you yesterday," Ellie began, hoping to get her name again.

"Carol. You're a friend of Daryl's?" She asked, but expectedly, like she knew the answer. Ellie knew she did.

But Ellie's face uncontrollably lit up nonetheless. "Yes. Highschool sweethearts," she answered, with a small smile. "Though he probably doesn't want me telling you that."

Carol chuckled, but Ellie didn't know what else to say, and apparently nor did Carol. Silence overcame them.

"You just missed him," Carol commented. She paused a second before adding, "He went hunting."

Ellie nodded in response, biting her lip. "I think I might go join him. Not that I can hunt, really. That was more his forte. I'll probably just scare everything away..."

"But y'all got a lot to talk about," Carol said, suggestively, straightening up from where she was leaning on the window sill.

"Yeah," Ellie grinned back sheepishly and began pulling the door open. Carol held it as Ellie walked through.

The door began sliding as Ellie walked away, but then the scraping stopped.

"Ellie, wait," Carol called after her. Ellie turned around as Carol slipped out the barn. She pulled the door shut.

"Something happened. Just recently, with Daryl," she admitted, slowly, weighing her words.

Ellie closed the gap between them in the instant. "What? Is he okay?" Only feet away now, Ellie caught Carol's eyes, but she still mulled over her words

"What happened?" Ellie asked, less sharply this time.

"We lived in a prison, prior to this, but we had made some enemies, and they attacked," Carol pursed her lips, remembering what she heard of it. "Daryl made it out with another girl. Beth. They got split up and the next time Daryl saw her, she was getting shot in the head."

"Was she…? Did he..." Ellie trailed off, trying to get her thoughts together.

"Beth was special to him, that's all I know," Carol said, before adding, "And he blames himself for her death."

Ellie sighed softly, heart aching. "Of course he does," she breathed. She rubbed her head, wishing her arms could stretch out and hug him, where he was at. She knew it wouldn't be that simple though.

"He hasn't, you know, really talked about it with anyone," Carol continued.

"You think he'll talk about it with me?" Ellie asked, readjusting her pack, eyes darting to the woods.

"You're something to him," Carol answered with a shrug. "And I don't think we're enough."

Ellie sighed again and didn't respond. Thing's weren't the same as they were then. He's not some scared child trying to get away from his father anymore. Odds are his father is dead.

"You should get going. The rest will be up soon. He'll be back soon," Carol put in, and Ellie nodded. Time to put her psychology degree to good use.

"We'll be back soon," Ellie said, shouldering her pack again.

"Good luck," Carol replied, as Ellie walked away.

* * *

Daryl knew she was coming a mile off. He wanted to hide, but he knew this conversation couldn't be put off. Why did he say those things to Carol? Why did it make him so mad she didn't believe him? Suddenly he was a teenager again with a schoolboy crush. At the end, he'd been so comfortable with Ellie Jo. At the end, she'd seen every side of him. At the end… she knew too much.

He sat and waited, trying to figure out how he could control this conversation, but when she finally caught up with him, words left him.

Their eyes met and the way she looked at him said more than anything they could say.

Finally, though, Ellie Jo said, "So… I'm glad you're alive." She sat down next to him, back leaning against a tree.

An unexpected laugh caught in his throat from her opening statement. "Same."

She smiled briefly, before asking, "Is there… anything you wanted to talk about?"

Daryl looked to the ground, allowing his hair to cover his face. Where could he even begin? "Not really," he answered.

"Did you, um, get married or anything? Have a kid?"

The sound that came out of him was more bark than laugh. "What you think?"

"Merle?" Ellie almost seemed timid with her questions.

He answered softly this time, "No."

There was a very long pause, and Ellie swallowed, trying to figure out what question to ask next.

"You?" Daryl finally said, looking back up at her. She could only meet one eye and he knew she was trying to read his face, so he kept it blank.

"Not really," she swallowed, again, hard. "I waited for a while, silly me," Ellie added, laughing bitterly. "But I tried, it just… wasn't worth it."

Ellie Jo took a step closer to him. Her hand reached up to softly push his hair back. "I missed you," she admitted, but her eyes weren't on his. They were on the lip his teeth were biting. His mouth worked, as he thought. He turned his head, her hand falling away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered suddenly, his head hanging. "I woulda messed it up. I woulda hurt you."

"What happened, was not your fault," Ellie replied, remembering the first, and the last, night he stayed at her house. The first, and the last, time there was just skin and bones keeping them apart. The first, but not the last, she woke up in the morning to an empty bed. He didn't know this yet, though.

He tried to keep his lips from twisting, tried to blink tears away from his eyes. "I woulda hurt you," he repeated.

"It was not your fault," she repeated, trying to her his hair away again, to catch his eyes, to make him believe it, but Daryl pulled away.

"But I did it again. But I hurt _her_ ," the admission ripped out of his heart. _What a pussy._ _When did you become such a crybaby?_ his brother whispered in his mind, _if you have to do that shit, do it when you're alone._ Daryl had came home one day in elementary school in tears. An asshole had taped 'Dirty Daryl' to the back of his ratty old shirt. A stupid childhood taunt. It was in elementary school, but he could still hear the snickers as he walked to take a seat at the lunch table. But as it always with her, it was a losing battle. " _I hurt her_."

Her. Beth. The girl that was special to her.

"What happened?" Ellie asked, voice barely a whisper. A jagged breath escaped Daryl and El squeezed his knee in comfort.

"We were livin' in a prison when we were attacked and it brought down or fences. We had to run. Beth and I… we got out together," Daryl began, quietly, his tone turning gravel as he continued on. "We got out, but was separated from our group. Went a couple days, but… the funeral home we was at got surrounded by walkers and I told her to get out 'cause it was clear for her, and… she was gone," he swallowed, hard.

"Where'd she go?" Ellie prompted softly, flashing back to a counseling appointment. Ask questions, don't assume, let them talk. This was their time to speak.

"There's a hospital in Atlanta and they got her. Was driving away when I got out. I ran, I tried to get them… but we found her and I saw her and she was only feet away from me, and I don't know why, I don't know-but Beth attacked this other lady and she shot her in the head. It was- it was an accident," his words began to slur together, though he tried to control them, "I knew it was an accident, somewhere in my mind, but I… shot her like she shot Beth," Daryl finished, choking out those final words. His head dropped to his chest, breathing heavily.

"Daryl, that's-" but it was when Ellie began to speak the first sob escaped him. It was quiet and Ellie knew he just had to do it. She looped her arm through his and squeezed and let him cry.

* * *

After a couple of minutes, he pulled away from her and dried his eyes on his arm. He breathed deeply, trying to regain control.

"It's still not your fault," Ellie said after a long moment of silence.

Daryl let out a nasally snort. "Surely don't feel like it isn't."

"Did you love her?" The question slipped out of her mouth, it wasn't one she had intended to ask. However, it'd been on her mind.

His answer then was only a swallow, but that was enough for Ellie Jo.

"She looked at me like she could've..." Daryl admitted, still not looking at her.

"You are-"

"Don't give me some shrink bull shit, El. I've heard it all before," he cut her off, in a hard tone. "I don't wanna hear it. I can't believe you did that."

"I _did that_ for you," Ellie snapped back. "I was hoping I could help you… and then when you never came back, I was hoping I could help people like you. And I have, Daryl. I have helped people!"

"I'm not going to push you to talk, but it doesn't matter if I have the title of a 'shrink' or not, I'm still me. I haven't changed all that much. That used to be enough for you," she finished, the bite had slowly left her words. Ellie rolled her eyes, trying to downplay her outburst, "The past doesn't really matter anymore, but the future does. Where we go from here does. This is it now. There is no Doctor Stone. There is no Daryl 'good for nothing' Dixon. It's just Ellie and Daryl now, and whatever comes our way."

Daryl thought for a moment but finally met her eyes then and muttered, "Glad you found us, Ellie Jo." What he really wanted to say was "glad you found _me_ , Ellie Jo" but he knew she would hear it in his words anyways.


	4. CHAPTER THREE - DESERVING

**CHAPTER FOUR – DESERVING**

Daryl and Ellie Jo walked back in silence. Thanks to her, still not silent enough to catch anything. Maybe now he could _really_ teach her how to hunt one day... but as soon as the thought appeared, he shook it out. If it had been a natural thought, he would have entertained it, but it came from a more emotional place. One he didn't want to think about.

He didn't want to speak and if he was with any other person, his lack of words would weigh heavily on him, but he knew Ellie Jo didn't mind. He was still embarrassed he just lost it like that, but just like every other time he's lost it like that, Ellie-girl stayed unwavering by his side. _Ellie Jo_ , he corrected his thoughts, shaking his head. She's not his Ellie-girl anymore and the thought twisted his heart. He had to stop shaking these thoughts out of his, though she looked lost in her own thoughts at the moment and didn't notice.

Ellie Jo's seen so much of him. It blows his mind that nearly 20 years later, she still wanted to walk by his side. Daryl didn't deserve her back in his life.

* * *

Ellie really didn't mind the silence. She knew Daryl had a lot to think about. She knew his cheeks were still burning from the way he lost control like that, how Merle always said to never let anyone see you cry. Every time Daryl broke down as a kid, it was a fight between head and heart. He really still hasn't changed.

Just as well he wasn't talking, as Ellie had other things on her mind. Like, what her plan was before she nearly died. The past she had been intending to uncover. Originally, with her sister, but now she had just wanted to go alone. Ellie never told her last group where her destination had been.

"So, I know y'all are heading up to DC, but y'all don't really know what you're walking into..." She suddenly said, looking over at him.

Daryl glanced at her, confused. "Ain't got much options now, do we?"

"Well, do you remember my grandparents?" Ellie began, hesitatingly, a shaking hand going up to the tips of her hair. The mention of them ripped a new one into her heart, and the thought of having to talk to Rick, to lead the group there, to be in her grandparent's house… it wasn't a can she wanted to open up with strangers but she would to protect Daryl. And the group. The kids deserved a break, she thought, trying not to project too much feelings towards Daryl. Things weren't the same. They would never be the same.

He paused a moment to think and he was surprised he remembered. "They was living up in Alexandria?"

"Yeah, with that huge, thick brick fence because-"

"Your grandfather was one of 'em doomsday preppers!" Daryl stopped and looked at her, seeing what she was getting to. He'd seen pictures of the iron gate and brick walls that outlined her grandparent's property. He'd listen to El tell countless stories about going inside the bunker buried in the backyard, that was filled with enough perishable food for a lifetime. There was a greenhouse. They had their own well, so it could be pumped if the power were to go out. Ellie Jo had spewed all of her grandfather's fantasies back to him.

Daryl couldn't help it, he laughed out loud, and Ellie couldn't help but smile too.

"Ain't so crazy after all, huh?" But then the smile left her when she added, "He had a heart attack about a year before all this actually happened. _He_ never knew he wasn't crazy."

There was silence again and Ellie Jo started walking.

"That's where I was headed. Got sidetracked with my last group, but when it... didn't work out, I was heading that way again. We could rest. Get ourselves together a little bit. And then head to DC," She suggested, and Daryl began to slowly nod.

"I think they could use a break," he said quietly, but despite what he would ever tell other people, and even himself, Ellie though he really meant ' _I think I could use a break.'_

* * *

"So, my granddaddy was, I guess you'd call it, a 'doomsday prepper,'" Ellie began, her finger's air quoting the title. Daryl had gotten Rick immediately, and he stood with the baby on his hip. At those words, his face began to melt into sudden excitement. Sudden hope. Rick took a steadying breath to not get ahead of himself.

"Where?" The single word was all he could get out.

"Up in Alexandria. An exit or two before DC," Ellie said, before adding, "There are brick walls and an iron gate. A greenhouse and a well. A bunker," she finished, knowing the importance of her words. She began rummaging in her backpack, pulling out a map. Her fingers traced the path for Rick and Daryl.

"You don't think it's been overrun? Other's living in it? It's been a couple _years_..." Rick replied, trying to squash any doubts, though he knew she couldn't really give an answer to that. He was mostly thinking out loud.

"House might be ransacked but the bunker was pretty hidden," she answered with a shrug, but Rick really didn't to be convinced. It was a better plan than marching up to DC and therefore it was their only plan. It was their only hope, reeling from the death of Hershel and Beth. They were tired and they needed a break. Brick walls were no doubt the way to go.

"Okay." Rick nodded, going through the girl's words in his head over and over again. He paced a couple times, causing Judith's small fistfuls of his shirt to pull. It pulled his attention down to her and he uncontrollably smiled. With a final nod, he repeated, "Okay."

"I think we could get there in a day or two," Ellie began, thoughtfully. "If we follow 64 and get off at Kings Street, then it's all back roads after that."

Rick listened to her words, then looked at Daryl. "You think this will work?"

"Yeah, I do," Daryl answered, honestly. He belonged in the woods, with an arrow and a tent, but he knew Rick needed some reprieve. To lock the world out is what his group needed.

At this point, the gate to the barn had opened and people were out setting up what they could in ways for breakfast. It was a quiet task this morning, no small talk or conversations. They only had their will to survive left and it was just going through the motions of living.

Rick turned away from Ellie Jo and Daryl then to go address the group, tell them the new plan, leaving the two of them alone.

"They really need this right now," Daryl told her, his voice low and gravelly. "It wasn't just… it wasn't just the girl who died."

'The girl'. Ellie knew he was trying to detach himself and she couldn't let that. "You mean Beth?" she asked pointedly.

He gave a tense nod. "Her daddy, just a few weeks before. It wasn't done by the dead. The living are more dangerous than the dead," Daryl felt like he was admitting something big to her, but she already knew.

"I know." It was her turn for her voice to turn quiet, but Daryl didn't know how to respond. He wished he had the words she did to make her feel better.

Finally, he spoke again, "Beth and Hershel was all the family Maggie had left. And Tyreese was the last of Sasha's. It's been… a lot." The four-letter word was heavy in his mouth and he could tell Ellie Jo was about to shrink him, but then he saw the exact moment the weight of his words hit her. Sasha and Maggie were the last of their family, and also so was Ellie.

His mind ran, trying to think of something to backtrack on what he said. Something to make him feel better, but still, no words of comfort came.

Daryl truly didn't deserve her.

* * *

Ellie looked up at him, deciphering how loaded the word 'a lot' was, before the twist in her heart distracted her 'shrink-ing'.

Daryl hadn't meant it to remind her of this, but it did nonetheless. She never tried to think about it, but sometimes she wasn't strong enough to push the thought down.

Ellie Jo was also the last of the Stones.

For all her talk of hope, she knew there was no hope that somehow her grandmother had made it this far.

Sometimes it hits her how she or Abbie Jo or her parents or her grandmother knew this is what became of her life. Ellie didn't even think this is what her grandfather had in mind.

"Ellie, Daryl!" Rick's voice called her back from her thoughts and once they both looked over, he made a motion towards the barn. She looked back at him, confused, but Daryl nodded, and they all started walking back to the barn.

"Packing up, heading out..." Daryl muttered to her, feeling her confusion.

"I knew that," Ellie snapped, though just because she felt stupid. It's been so long since reading human body language was important.

He looked back at her, with a raised eyebrow. "Shrinks ain't suppose to make up things."

"I'm not even sure I'm still deserving of that title," Ellie responded, sounding defeated even in her own ears.

"You are," Daryl replied, simply, before adding, "I know you miss your family, and they still should be here, it ain't fair, but blood doesn't matter much anymore. You're never going to be alone, if you stay. This group will become your family… like they did mine. Hurts like hell to not have Merle here sometimes, but it hurts a lot less with them."

The two of them had paused outside the barn, but Ellie didn't have the people inside on her mind when she took his hand and squeezed it. "Oh, Daryl, I don't deserve you..." she sighed, looking Daryl full in the face, wishing she never had to look away, before pulling him into the barn with her.

Their hands dropped once inside, but for the first time since Ellie came back into his life, she had no idea how deeply her words impacted Daryl, rendering him speechless versus just at a loss of words, or having no words he wanted to give.

* * *

 **AN** : dang, it's been a while! Life really got real for a second there lol I know it's not the longest chapter ever but I hope you enjoyed, lemme know x Anna


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